Unexpected

I flipped through the pages as fast as I could. I knew the answer was in here somewhere. Then something hit the library floor. That must be it, I said in my heart and took a glance look at it before picked it up. A letter? Why did he leave me a letter instead? With my shaking hands, I opened the letter with my bare hands and started to read. His appealing italic font handwriting had carved a smile on my face. As I read through, my eyes began to swell. No! No! This can't be happening. I ran out of the library faster than a stallion. I must confront him. How dare he didn't say anything to me!

***

As the moon made her gentle exit, the sun appeared in all its radiance and splendour. A new day was born. As usual, I went to the national library to dig in some new books. Roaming around the shelves of books, a book entitled 'Pride and Prejudice' caught my sight. I picked that book and started reading briefly the synopsis. The book cover was very attractive made me wanted to read it. Walking slowly towards a seat, I accidently knocked a person ; a guy to be exact, to the ground.

"Oh my God, I am so sorry. I didn't see you're coming," I said fast and quickly grabbed him by his arm. As he was standing, I could not help but noticed that he was taller than me- maybe around six feet and I was only five. His chest was quite broad and muscular which matched his height. I could ensure that every women would feel safe in his arms.

"I'm sorry too. It was also my fault for not looking where I was going," he said when he caught me eyeing him. Eyeing? More like drooling, I said in my heart. I blushed and looked away. He gave me a slight smile before slowly continuing his sentence. "My name is Blake. Blake Johnson. It is very nice to meet a beautiful lady like you." He bowed a little. I smiled at his attitude thou I was quite embarrassed by his praised. Blake Johnson. I knew I had heard his name somewhere but where?

"I'm Elizabeth. Elizabeth Lawson. It's very nice meeting you too."

So that was basically how we met and where. From that day onward, he came to the library to meet me and talk about books, lives and stuff. I remembered one day he asked me about what kind of books should a guy read. I mean, that was suppose to be something personal right? What kind of books we read depends on what type of fiction we love. As for me, I love to read something between romance and thriller with quite a lot of suspense such as Dracula.

Not just that, we also laughed and argued for what seemed like forever. I always thought this thing between us would end forever but unfortunately God had something up in His sleeve. One day, he didn't show up at the library. At first I thought he was so caught up with his life but after a month, I just couldn't take it anymore. Why didn't he show up? Did he hate me? A month wasn't 'caught up in life'. That was more like running away. I just couldn't take it anymore so I made a decision to pay him a visit but I didn't know where he was living. I asked some people around me if any of them ever heard the name 'Blake Johnson'.

"Blake Johnson? As in the son of Sir Nicholas Johnson? The only heir of the shipping company called 'WaterWays'?" someone asked me back. My jaw dropped. Of course! That would ring me a bell. That was why his name was so familiar. He was the son of Sir Nicholas Johnson, the heir of Duchess of Wales for God's sake. Why didn't I even think of that! I knew where they lived - in Sketty Lane, Swansea. But why did he come all the way from Swansea to the national library in Cardiff? Oh yes, the shipping company. So they must have a home here in Cardiff. By that thought, I took a taxi.

"To WaterWays please," I said to the driver.

"Yes Miss." As I arrived, I made my way to the reception. The receptionist looked at me curiously as I am a lady and no lady ever went into the building. Especially a young lady.

"Excuse me sir, may I see Sir Nicholas Johnson?" I asked him.

"I'm sorry but did you make any appointment with him?" I shook my head.

"No. I just need to ask him about his son. I need to see his son." The receptionist looked at me, shocked. Oh did I mention no one has ever seen the son of Sir Nicholas Johnson? Yeah they kept him as a secret until he could take over the company. They didn't want any publicity.

"Are you - by any chance - Miss Elizabeth Lawson?" I just nodded my head. "Please follow me to their house." I didn't care how or why he knew my name because right now I just needed to see Blake. I needed some explanation from him. "Oh my God the Johnson's have been waiting for you Miss Lawson. They have been waiting to meet you for a month already," he said. Waiting for me? For what? Why can't they just find me at the library? I never even met them before. Before I could ask any further questions, we arrived at the house - more like a mansion - behind the company. He then brought me to the lounge room.

"Miss Elizabeth Lawson, Sir," he said. I bowed when I saw the family. Lady Anna-Maria Johnson, the wife of Sir Nicholas Johnson asked me to be seated. Both of them looked at me with sad expression. Then, Sir Nicholas stood up and walked towards me before asked me to follow him. This was strange because he led me to a room at the end of the hallway. As he opened the door, my eyes darted to a body that laid down unmoved on a bed. The only thing that made me know he's alive was the movement of his lungs. I gasped.

"Blake," I said in a whisper as I recognized his figure. Slowly, with shaking legs I walked towards the bed. I touched his cheek with my shivered hand. Tears running down my cheeks as I saw wires and machines hung onto him like his life depended on them. I faced Sir Nicholas once again.

"What has happened to him?" I asked but he didn't answer. He just gave me a piece of paper. I took a glance look at it. It was a picture of me reading a book in the library. Confused, I looked back at him.

"I'm sorry I can't say anything about Blake's condition. He didn't want me to tell you anything. He said that he wanted you to find the book you're reading in the picture. He said there's something inside and he wanted you to be strong."

***

"Lizzy, do you think you can love someone just by looking at their face?"

"Of course. Anyone need to see a person's face to get to know them. How can you love someone if you don't know how he or she looks like?"

"How about if a person, in this case is a 'he', loves someone but she doesn't know about it?"

"Well, you must have the courage to confront her or you'll forever never know."

"What if he's afraid? What if he doesn't want to risk their friendship since they're best friends?"

"Sometimes you just have to take the risk. That's what life is about."

***

My dear Elizabeth,

I know by the time you found this letter, I may not be here anymore. Please forgive me for not telling you earlier. Yes, I have a health problem. A heart failure. My heart has a low pumping capacity, which for a young man like me, it wasn't suppose to happen. That was why, if you even noticed, I looked so tired sometime. The doctor said he could cure me by performing a heart transplant but we could not find a suitable donor. He said the only thing I could do was to eat some medicines which I skipped when I met you. That was why I had been lying on bed for about a fortnight now. I don't know what's the date when you received this letter. I know you must have been asking why on Earth I wrote this letter. Frankly speaking, I wanted to tell you one thing Lizzy. The thing that I was afraid to tell you before because of our friendship. And trust me Lizzy, I never want to risk our friendship.

Lizzy,

Since the first time I laid my eyes on you, I had known you're the one that could make me happy. You had bewitched my body and soul by your laughter, your innocent smile and your beautiful words. When I met you everyday at the library, I can't help but stare at your beauty that had sent me to my own world where nobody's around but you and me. And by that Lizzy, I know I had fallen in love with you. I love you Elizabeth. I love you with all my broken heart. If by any chance you ever have any love for me, promise me to live your life and don't ever look back. Promise me you'll stay strong and be happy.

Yours sincerely,

Blake Johnson

Out of the blue, I felt someone's hands grabbed my waist and pulled me into a hug before placing a tender kiss on my shoulder and gave my belly a quick rub. I smiled and turned around, looking into his sparkling greenish hazel eyes that still never bored me. His rosy yet dimpled cheeks and pointed nose with his warm smile that always made me feel like there's a butterfly fluttering in my stomach.

"What're you reading?" he asked and yanked his eyebrows before took away that piece of paper from my bare hands. His eyes widened before gave out a small smile. "Have you read this all day while I was out in the garden? Darling you should have let this flew away. I should have never written a letter again." He laughed.

Well, who would have thought Blake was still alive. After I read his letter, I got a message from Sir Nicholas saying that they had found a suitable donor to do the heart transplant. The donor was an old man who's dying and he said he's willing to give his heart to Blake since he might not live any longer. So, they agreed to do the surgery and fortunately the surgery came out great. Just that he had to control his eating and movement and he had to eat some medicine to make sure his body didn't reject the new heart. And thank God he's still living until now.

A year after the surgery, we got married. He said he could not wait any longer to marry me since he knew he was living in a borrowed time. He also took over the company but since his condition was not so well, a trustworthy friend of his father helped him in most of the work. We didn't live in Cardiff since that place now is very crowded. Now here we are, trying to start a new life as a married couple in Swansea. I have been his wife for a year and right now, I have his child in me. I always pray to God that we will always be like this until hereafter.

p/s : cerpen kali ini dalam bahasa inggeris. sebenarnya cerpen ni saya gunakan untuk peperiksaan hari tu. tiba-tiba terasa nak kongsi dengan kalian. maaf kerana ianya dalam bahasa inggeris. saya harap kalian boleh terima. mungkin lepas ni saya akan buat dalam versi bahasa melayu kot. segala komen dan kritikan amatlah dialu-alukan. dan tajuk cerita ni memang tak masuk akal sebab saya tak ada idea nak bagi tajuk apa.

Aku Benci... - Song 10

Seira berjalan seperti biasa ke sekolah. Di pertengahan jalan dia terserempak dengan rakan baiknya, Misa. Muka Misa yang ceria sudah menceritakan segalanya. Dia tahu dia tetap akan mendengar segala celoteh Misa walaupun dia tidak mahu. Misa menepuk bahunya.


"Pagi Seira. Eh, kau pasti dah dengar cerita yang HarUna akan adakan lagi satu konsert di Stadium Asterisk. Ah, aku tak sabar nak pergi! Aku baru sahaja dapat tiket untuk ke konsert itu semalam. Mujur masih ada lagi. Dapat lah aku merasa tempat duduk VVIP," ujar Misa saat dia dan Seira berjalan bergandingan ke sekolah. Seira membuat muka bengkek.


"Bukan kau dah cerita kat aku minggu lepas ke? Lagi pula, bukankah kelmarin cikgu Hiroyuki suruh aku siapkan kertas kerja untuk ke konsert tu? Jadi, apa point yang kau nak beritahu aku sebenarnya?" Seira mengangkat kening. Walaupun dia tidak suka perkara ini dibangkitkan namun dia sangat suka untuk menyakat rakannya yang seorang itu. Modalnya untuk menyakat hanya pada HarUna. Misa sudah menarik muncung.


"Ala, buat-buat nak ambil tahu konon. Cakap sajalah yang kau nak perli aku." Seira tergelak. "Yang kertas kerja konsert tu cuma dapat tiket VIP saja. Tak dapat nak tengok wajah ahli HarUna dekat-dekat. Itulah sebabnya kenapa aku dapatkan juga tiket VVIP ni, barulah dapat tengok depan-depan," terang Misa panjang lebar. Seira menggeleng.


"Mentang-mentang ayah sendiri bekerja di situ." Misa tersengih. Memang dia minta tiket konsert daripada ayahnya. Itupun kerana pihak stadium akan menambah lagi 2000 buah kerusi pada konsert kali ini menyebabkan ramai penonton yang akan datang membanjiri stadium. Konsert sebelum ini hanya memuatkan seramai 8000 penonton sahaja. Kalau tidak, pasti dia tidak akan menyusahkan ayahnya.


"Jadi, ada kakak kau cakap apa-apa?" tanya Misa ingin tahu.


"Banyak. Balik nanti kau tanyalah kakak." Misa mengangguk. Dia memang selalu bertanyakan perihal Saori terutamanya pada bab-bab HarUna kerana mereka mempunyai minat yang sama. Lagi pula dia tidak punya adik beradik lain yang dapat sama-sama berkongsi minat. Itulah sebabnya mengapa dia selalu bertanyakan Saori. Hanya Seira sahaja yang berbeza. Semuanya kerana peristiwa itu.


"Kenapa awak pindah ke sini? Awak cakap nak cerita kepada saya," tanya Misa pantas. Dia memandang jiran barunya itu sambil tangannya memegang sebuah album. Kelmarin dia telah berjanji untuk memberitahu Misa mengenai perpindahannya. Reo terdiam sebentar.


"Huh, awak memang tak boleh tunggu kan. Yelah, saya akan ceritakannya kepada awak. Tapi siapa nak tanggung kalau saya menangis?" tanya Reo pula. Misa tergelak.


"Awak tanggung sendirilah!" Dan ketika itu juga kepala Misa diluku.


"Baiklah. Oleh sebab awak nak tahu sangat kenapa saya berpindah ke sini, saya akan cerita sekarang. Sebenarnya saya berpindah ke sini kerana mak saya tak dapat terima hakikat yang abang saya dah tak ada. Dia mati kena langgar sebab nak selamatkan jiran kami sewaktu melintas di laluan pejalan kaki. Ia berlaku pada 7 November. Sepatutnya memang giliran untuk pejalan kaki yang melintas tetapi entah kenapa tiba-tiba ada sebuah kereta langgar lampu isyarat tu. Waktu itu umur saya baru tujuh tahun, sama umur dengan jiran saya yang abang saya selamatkan. Mak saya jadi trauma lepas tu dan kebetulan pula dia dapat tawaran kerja di sini jadi kami terus pindah," terang Reo panjang lebar. Wajah Misa sudah berubah.


"Reo, saya minta maaf. Saya tak sepatutnya tanya awak tentang perpindahan awak ke sini. Saya ingatkan keluarga awak berpindah ke sini disebabkan tawaran pekerjaan yang mak awak terima. Saya minta maaf. Jadi, adakah itu sebabnya mengapa mak awak tak pernah cakap apa-apa mengenai gambar ini?" Misa menunjukkan gambar seorang lelaki yang memakai baju berwarna kuning di dalam album yang dipegangnya. Reo mengangguk.

***

Seira menangis dengan tiba-tiba. Mujur tiada sesiapa pun di dalam kelas ketika itu kerana sekarang merupakan waktu rehat. Misa yang kebetulan masuk ke dalam kelas untuk mengambil barang perasan akan keadaan Seira lantas menegurnya.


"Eh, kenapa awak menangis? Awak tak dapat jawab soalan Matematik tadi ke? Mari saya tolong awak," pelawa Misa pantas. Dia paling tidak suka melihat orang menangis. Seira menggeleng. Dia mengelap air matanya.


"Tak ada apa-apa. Saya okey saja. Cuma teringatkan sesuatu tadi." Seira menidakkan. Misa menjadi ingin tahu.


"Oh. Em, kalau awak rasa nak luahkan apa-apa, luahkanlah. Saya sudi untuk mendengar." Seira memandang pelik ke arahnya. "Saya bukan nak menyibuk hal orang. Saya cuma nak tolong awak saja," sambung Misa tatkala melihat pandangan Seira yang lain macam. Seira mengukir sedikit senyuman. Dia menarik nafas dalam-dalam.


"Jiran saya kemalangan disebabkan kecuaian saya. Ketika itu saya baru lepas menyambut hari lahir yang ke-7. Dia meninggal di tempat kejadian. Saya rasa bersalah sangat. Sampai sekarang saya tak dapat nak maafkan diri saya." Seira kembali menangis. Misa mengusap belakang badannya.


"Maaf, saya tal tahu. Kemalangan itu berlaku di mana?"


"Di lampu isyarat laluan pejalan kaki. Sebenarnya ketika itu memang masa untuk pejalan kaki yang melintas jalan tetapi entah kenapa ada sebuah kereta yang tak reti bahasa pergi langgar lampu isyarat tu. Sepatutnya saya yang akan jadi mangsa kemalangan namun jiran saya telah selamatkan saya." Misa mengangguk.


"Sabar ya awak. Semua yang berlaku ada sebab dan hikmah disebaliknya. Apapun awak kena teruskan kehidupan awak. Jiran awak sanggup korbankan diri dia demi awak. Jadi, awak kena hargai setiap detik dalam kehidupan awak."

***

Misa tergamam. Baru dia teringat kisah yang Reo ceritakan kepadanya. Ceritanya dan Seira bagai ada persamaan. Lebih-lebih lagi bahagian kemalangan di kawasan lampu isyarat pejalan kaki. Dia menidakkan semua yang terlintas di dalam benaknya. Tak mungkin! Tak mungkin Seira mengenali Reo!

Ia berlaku pada 7 November.

Misa terpaku. 7 November merupakan hari lahir Seira. Dan Seira pernah sebut tentang kemalangan jirannya berlaku pada tarikh hari lahirnya. Dia juga tidak sanggup nak raikan hari jadinya kerana peristiwa itu. Abang kepada Reo meninggal pada tarikh yang sama. Adakah mereka merupakan orang yang sama? Misa menduga. Adakah benar? Aduh! Kenapalah dia tidak pernah terfikir untuk bertanya kepada Reo mengenai nama abangnya dahulu. Dia memandang Seira yang ralit mendengar pengajaran cikgu di hadapan.

***

Kring! Loceng telah pun berbunyi menandakan waktu persekolahan telah tamat. Seira dan Misa masing-masing mengemas bagasi mereka dan mahu pulang ke rumah. Seira hairan melihat rakannya asyik berdiam diri. Sejak dari waktu rehat dia berkelakuan seperti itu. Diam dan hanya menjawab sepatah sahaja apabila ditanya. Dia bagaikan berada di dalam dunianya yang tersendiri. Misa tidak pernah berkelakuan pelik seperti itu. Hanya dia sahaja yang selalu begitu. Dia ada melakukan kesalahan kah?


"Jom gerak sekarang," kata Seira. Dia mahu memancing Misa supaya bekata-kata. Namun kata-katanya hanya dibalas dengan anggukan daripada Misa. Raut wajahnya kelihatan agak tegang. Misa pantas berjalan apabila melihat Seira yang seakan-akan tidak mahu bergerak daripada tempatnya. Seira segera membuntuti rakannya.


Sepanjang perjalanan Misa hanya berdiam diri. Ada juga Seira bertanya itu dan ini tetapi hanya dibalas dengan anggukan ataupun gelengan sahaja. Otaknya lebih memfokuskan siapa sebenarnya Seira dan Reo.


"Seira, kau pernah dengar nama Minami Ryosuke tak?" tanya Misa tiba-tiba. Seira tersentak. Dia memandang Misa sebelum mengarahkan otaknya untuk berfikir. Sejenak kemudian dia menggeleng.


"Tak pernah dengar pula. Kenapa?"


"Macam mana pula dengan Reo?" tanya Misa lagi. Dia menggesa Seira untuk berfikir semula. Kali ini respons Seira sedikit berbeza. Dia kelihatan terkejut.


"Roe? Em, ya. Aku kenal sangat dengan nama tu. Itulah nama jiran aku dulu. Kenapa?" tanya Seira pula. Seingatnya dia tidak pernah bercerita kepada Misa mengenai nama jirannya. Jadi, dari mana pula datangnya nama itu?


"Jadi, kau pasti kenal Minami Ryosuke. Itu nama penuh Reo. Sebelum keluarga aku berpindah ke sini, aku ada jiran yang bernama Reo. Dia juga mempunyai abang yang telah meninggal disebabkan kemalangan di kawasan lampu isyarat pejalan kaki. Sebabnya nak selamatkan jiran dia yang sedang melintas jalan. Kisah kematian abang dia dan jiran kau tu sama saja. Abang dia mati ketika umurnya 7 tahun. Sama seperti umur kau ketika jiran kau kemalangan." Seira tergelak sambil menggeleng.


"Tak mungkinlah. Kemalangan boleh berlaku pada bila-bila masa. Dalam kes jiran kau tu mungkin ianya hanyalah satu kebetulan sahaja. Tak mungkin jiran kau dan Reo yang aku kenal merupakan orang yang sama kerana Reo yang aku kenal sudah tiada di sini. Dia sudah ke luar negara tiga hari selepas kejadian tu." Misa terpempan. Tak mungkin!


"It can't be! Kalau kau nak cakap yang ianya hanya kemungkinan kejadian tu berlaku pada hari yang sama dan tempat yang sama walaupun pada tahun yang berbeza mungkin aku akan percaya tetapi dengan sebab yang sama? Semua orang takkan percaya Seira. Ia sesuatu yang sangat aneh untuk mempunyai sebab yang sama. Lagi pula umur Reo, kau dan aku adalah sama." Seira tersengih sebelum berjalan mendahului Misa.


"Tapi kalau betul..."


"Tak mungkin betul! It will never be true," bentak Seira. Dia tidak suka mendengar apa yang diperkatakan oleh Misa. Jadi inilah sebabnya mengapa Misa berdiam diri dari pagi tadi. Hanya sebab jirannya.


Walaupun Seira sedikit gusar dengan apa yang Misa cakapkan namun apabila teringatkan yang Reo pernah memberitahunya mengenai perpindahan keluarganya ke luar negara hatinya menjadi lega. Tidak mungkin itu Reo. Entah bagaimana keadaan sahabatnya itu kini. Perasaan bersalah kembali menghantui dirinya.